Release yourself Matthew. Let it all out. Forget what you know, what you think you know, what you wish you knew. Let it all go. Fear your tears no longer, face that which you swore you would hide. What would you say to yourself? What if the mirror could talk back? Would you scream at the top of your lungs? Would you fall on your knees? What if everything inside your heart were projected to the world? Would they still love you? We all have monsters inside, skeletons from our closet come back to life to haunt us as soon as we turn the lights out. Can you live with yours? Would it make a difference? Let it all go. It doesn’t matter. Not a god damned bit. Your life is hard; that is not a secret known only to you and the mirror. But are you strong enough, good enough, to overcome it? You feel like you’re here for a reason, for a specific and special reason. Yet everyone around you is looking through you….can your voice be loud enough and pure enough for them to hear you? You have people, friends, family that love you, unconditionally and for who you are, even when you can’t love yourself. So then why is it that that broken mirror and those forsaken skeletons are the only ones who reach out and touch your mind and soul? Why, if this swirling madness around you is consuming you and killing you, can no one reach their hand out to save you? Do they really expect you to save yourself? Can you? Or more importantly, should you?
Don’t stop typing. Don’t ever stop thinking. Don’t ever stop writing. One day, one glorious day, they will all know how you really feel, Matthew. You’ll scream at the top of your lungs. You’ll fall on your knees. They will still love you. You CAN live with your demons. You can make a difference. And some day, when you can fall no further, and your own strength can carry you no further, they will reach their hands out, and lift your weight upon their shoulders.
And you can finally let go.